to know or not to know

scott and i debated for a long time about being told the gender of this new little baby. it was a difficult decision. we found out with both e and d and didn't think twice about it. i am a "finder outer"... i need to know. surprises aren't really my thing. but for some reason, this time, i really didn't want to know. we've done it twice the other way and it worked for us, but this time felt like the right time to embrace the unknown. (it was sort of the theme of the past year for us anyways.)

when we went to the ultrasound we had the technician write the sex down on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope... you know, in case curiosity began to kill the cat. over the final 20 weeks of the pregnancy i lost the envelope a couple of times. on father's day, i offered it to scott to open if he so desired. he declined. and so onward to the delivery we went.

envelope sealed.



with each day that this baby decided to linger in the womb (11 for those of you that were counting... me = totally counting!) i became even more confident in our choice to embrace the surprise. it became exciting. a few times the feeling of being unprepared (in the event of a boy) would make me a little bit crazy, but overall it was fun to be waiting for the great reveal.

and then labor began.

you need a little background info for this one, but d almost was birthed in the car. literally. naturally, everyone thought that baby 3 would come even faster. my midwife actually gave me a little instruction session on what to do in the event that we couldn't make it to the hospital.

sweet p decided that she was going to throw everyone for a little loop and decided to make her momma work to get her out. towards the end, i wanted to throw in the towel. do you know what got me through? it was the great reveal. i channeled my desire to meet my baby and see if it was a he or a she. and so for this pregnancy, not knowing saved me. it was the perfect decision.

of course a few days after she was born, we decided to open the envelope. you know, in case they were wrong.

the conclusion: whatever you decide is the "right" decision. i loved knowing with e and d and i loved not knowing with p.

p.s. to those of you that i have begged to find out so that i wouldn't have to wait in suspense... please accept my apologies.