the sound of silence

i should have known better. i've experienced this moment before, but somehow i was distracted and the memory of it was not fresh enough in my mind. perhaps, i had tried to forget it.


the memory:

back in june of '06, a few months before ellie turned 2, i was happily in the kitchen making dinner for a friend of mine whom had just had a baby. i was going in and out to the grill and sweet 21 month old ellie was playing under foot, happily amusing herself. i distinctly remember pausing and thinking "this is the life"! i was thrilled with the entire scenario- the opportunity to cook a yummy dinner, the ability to gift someone with a hassle free dinner at a time when they needed it, a sweet happy babe, a sunny day... it was a complete package moment. i can remember looking at the clock thinking that i had to kick it into high gear in order to get the meal delivered in time. i began to hurry around packing up each of the dishes and placing them into the shopping bag. at this moment miss e began to wander a little bit out of the kitchen. i glanced at her to discover that she was examining the contents of my handbag. i glanced a little closer and all looked good. she was just taking everything out and then putting it back in.

cool... back to the finishing touches. i ran out to the grill to remove the grilled meat and returned to the kitchen to package it up. quickly, it dawned on me that it was TOO quiet. i turned around to look for e and didn't see her. i had that moment where i just knew trouble was around the corner.

sure enough, the bathroom door was closed and my makeup bag was outside the door.



1 tube of lipstick + curious toddler = crime scene

i knew in that moment that someday this would make me laugh. it wasn't going to be right now but something told me that in a few years i would look back and laugh at the lipstick smeared all over the bathroom and that it would make me smile as i remembered my sweet baby e.

today was that day. but it didn't happen quite the way i had imagined it would.

as i was hustling out the door to get to a 9am mops meeting, the phone rang. normally i would have let the machine get it, but something prompted me to look at the caller id. sure enough, it was an attorney handling some stuff dealing with my mom. i took the call. mid-call, i got that same eerie feeling that things in my house were just a wee bit too quiet.

miss d had found my secret stash of sharpie markers and had decorated her entire head and face. i didn't have time to take a picture as we had to get out the door and somehow a baby wipe managed to instantly remove all traces of ink. but it made me think back to my sweet ellie and go in hunt of those pictures.

just as i suspected, it made me smile as i reflected on the lipstick incidence and those first few years where it was just ellie and i.