happy

when i was in high school, my sister heather brought home this book titled 14,000 things to be happy about. because my sister brought it home, i fell in love with it. the book was basically just one giant list of things that might make a person happy. they were random, often surprising, but when carefully considered, very thought provoking (at least to my 15 year old mind). my best friend and i somehow got the idea to make a list of our own (it was probably her idea). i can remember the little book we used so clearly. we would take turns with it and pass it back and forth a few times a week. we did this for months. somehow, that first book has been lost. i swear it wasn't me who misplaced it, but she swears it was. regardless, it makes me sad that my youthful view on happiness has been misplaced.

over the years, we revised the happy book. when we went to college, we mailed a new book back and forth. after college, we lived together in atlanta, so didn't really need a concrete list because we were living out what made us happy together. when she got married and moved across town, we reinvented the book, adding some new components. surprisingly, we kept it up for many years, into my marriage and into my pregnancy with sweet little e.

recently, she emailed me asking for the book. it is buried somewhere deep in my basement. i am eager to find it once my life settles down. currently, between getting our house ready to list, my mom, pregnancy, and two little ones; i haven't had the time or energy. but soon, i will dig for it.

for the last few weeks (maybe months, if i am really honest) i have been pretty sad and down. it set in when i stopped nursing in september and then really took a dive after my mom's accident. life has been such a whirlwind all fall and into the present. anyways, last night i was laying in bed and thinking about all of it. i made a decision, that i am just going to have to pull myself out of this. i really dislike being so negative and down. i decided that i was going to have to just start focusing on the positive. i am aware that this won't "fix" my problems, but it will certainly change the way that i address them. and for the rest of the people in my little world (my husband and sweet babies) it will make me more bearable to live with.

this morning, in spite of the fact that my baby woke up an hour earlier than usual, i got out of bed with resolve that today was going to be a new beginning. we went downstairs to start the routine, and while my girlies were munching away on their breakfast i read this. hmmm- was it God ordained tagging?

"you're it tasha. remember that chat we had last night? remember your resolve? while here it is, a little push into the happier side of life."

and you should probably know that leslie, the girl that did the tagging, is in an email based prayer group with me. she is one wise momma. ordinarily, i would call this a coincidence, but given the circumstances, i'm sticking with the theory of divine intervention.

and so here goes: 6 things that make me happy

1.) my two little babes. d makes me smile (and sometimes pull my hair out) minute by minute because she is so stinking silly. she spends most of her day looking for laughter and she brings it to as many situations as she can. i am certain that this is going to be one of her gifts in life. e makes me proud. she is metamorphosing into this amazing little lady with such a strong moral compass. she has an amazing heart and a quest for knowledge. watching her thoughts and values unfold brings me great pleasure. i can't wait to see her in her teen years, because with her head, she is bound to be a light in her little world.


2.) living a life of adventure makes me happy down to my tippy toes. while risk taking could terrify a person, it has always served me well. moving to atlanta without a job or an apartment turned out to be an amazing journey. giving a stranger my phone number in bar (instead of fake digits as i had considered) proved to bring me the love of my life. choosing to follow this crazy man named jesus bought me my crown and the fresh start i so desperately needed. saying "yes" to yet another crazy move across the country and taking a risk on chicago brought me 8 amazing, growth inducing, wonderful friendship producing years. and now the adventure of san francisco- well that one is yet to be played out but based on history is sure to be worth the risk.


3.) the adult relationships that have been forming for the past five years with my two older sisters bring me great happiness. sometimes, it appears that we grew up in different households as children (and i guess in many ways we did). but watching how a sisterhood in Christ has begun to heel the wounds and how He is transforming our dynamic makes me smile from ear to ear.


4.) home. i'm not certain that words do the feeling justice, but there is something wonderful to me about being under the same roof all tucked in with my beautiful husband and sweet babies, snuggling on the couch, playing together on the floor, or just simply each doing our own thing in various parts of the same structure at peace and ease with one another. while most of my life i wanted to be anywhere but home, i find in this phase of my life, savoring the time i spend at home.


5.) jelly belly beans- i love everything about them. the bright colors, the creative flavors, the bursting of sweetness in your mouth. they are simple and yummy.


6.) the beach. when i think of squishing my toes in the sand, happy memories from my lifetime flood my mind. i think of taking a walk with my step-mom and dad in the bahamas as a little girl, a father daughter moment between daddy and his sweet ellie on her first vacation, travel to the italian riviera and swapping dreams of our future together with my hubby, building sandcastles with my little brother and sister in florida... and so many more. each one fills me with warmth.

and instead of tagging a bunch of people to do the same, i choose to tag all of you. as you read this i challenge you to think of things that make you happy. and then go into your life and celebrate those things, cherish them, because if you are anything like me, you might find yourself taking them for granted from time to time and forgetting about the happiness that they do in fact bring you. sometimes life just gets away from us and it takes a little bit of intentionality to bring us back to our feet. this exercise is part of that process for me, and i hope it does the same for you. and if you feel like it, leave a comment and share one or two of your happy's with me:)

thanks, leslie. i needed to be tagged more than you could have ever known.