ok, so after ellie was born, i was a little miffed with my gal pals that had gone before me into motherhood. i mean, really, someone could have given me a little heads up about what to expect. for the sake of any male readers that don't have children, i'll spare you the details. but come on. you'd think that one of the fifteen books that i read about pregnancy and childbirth might have mentioned the ice packs!
today, at a mere three days shy of 20 weeks into this pregnancy, i stand in the same disbelief. sistas, you are not helping your friends out by sheltering them from the realities that come with pregnancy. pregnancy with number three has not been any less shocking...
here is just my short list of things that might be helpful to the unsuspecting momma trying to maintain her hipness a few years past the point where it is in reach...
it would have been nice to know that somewhere just shy of implantation a robber was going to come and take the remaining pieces of my already scattered mind. if this entry doesn't make any sense, it is because i officially have no brain left. the little i was holding onto after delaney is now gone. will i ever get it back? anyone? help a girl out.
i might have appreciated knowing that sneezing is dangerous for a thrice pregnant woman when in public. if that sentence leaves you scratching your head in confusion, just move on, but for the rest of you... a little heads up is all i'm asking for here.
when i was splurging on unnecessarily expensive maternity clothes with babies one and two going around saying things like, "i'll get my money's worth after a couple rounds of use", you might have filled me in on the fact that my poor body was never going to really look "cute" in them beyond pregnancy one (if they even did back then). in fact, you might have steered me towards the rack holding the mu-mu's as that is really the best option of protecting the world from embarrassing encounters with various rolls that i didn't think were possible for the human body to develop.
i could go on here ladies. trust me, with each day, i have new unfortunate discoveries. all i'm saying is maybe once you are in the know, you might want to share. your friends will be a little scared (justifiably) but much more prepared for what lies ahead of them.
2 comments:
So true! Don't forget the mucus plug and the post baby bleeding that goes on, and on, and on. Oh, and watch you intake after you stop breast feeding...your weight will will shoot up so quick you'll think someone messed with the scale.
So very true! Hysterical post!
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