the metaphor of my garden

this post is long, but i promise it has a lot of significant points.

so a few too many posts back, i told you that my garden was ready for planting. after putting that into print I became a little overwhelmed with the garden itself. you see, i liked the tidy little bed, freshly laid soil, newly mulched border etc. i wasn't so sure how i felt about the actual growing process itself. i mean, putting plants into that bed felt like taking a huge risk.

i've been keeping a secret. i planted the seeds a few weeks ago. i made a conscious decision to withhold that from you because i wanted to be certain that my seeds took. i was going to wait a while and see what happened and then take a tidy little picture when my garden looked the way it should, with nicely organized rows of new plants that had taken root. if the seeds didn't take, i was going to try again, wait and take the picture when it looked the way it should. i'm not kidding!

pretty quickly, i started to see growth. i went out there every day to water and tend to the plants. they were doing well. i felt confident and successful... and proud.

a few days after i began to see growth, we had a little situation. you see, my neighbor backed his car right into the frame of my garden. i had been sitting on the back deck in the dark and heard a thump and then heard him get out of the car and walk into his house. at the time, i had no idea that the thump was my garden bed frame cracking. i had no idea that several of my plants had been sacrificed in the process. the next day the discovery of this made me a little bit devastated- i had put my hope into that garden bed. scott had poured hours into laying the foundation and framing it. my nurturing had been disrupted and the result was a whole strip of ruined plants. and the worst part was that he hadn't even come to tell me about it! he was my neighbor! i was going to have to share a property line with someone that was considering hiding from the truth.

i called scott and shared my disappointment with him. we concluded that the neighborly thing to do was to wait and give them time. they might come to us with this, and if they did, we wanted to be willing to forgive them. but my heart went to the "what if they don't" right away.

i went away to a woman's retreat this past weekend with my sisters, step-mom, aunt, and grandmother. while i was gone, chicago was rained on quite a bit. i came home to an interesting sight in my garden. the plants had skyrocketed... and so had the weeds. the neighbor also decided to confess, sort of. you see next door to me is a man who lives with his mom. next door to them is the man's sister. i saw and heard the incident take place, so i knew it was the man who did it. somehow, the sister ended up taking the blame for it. she came to our door and confessed that she had done it and that she would repair it.

today i went out to my garden to tend to the weeds, the broken board, and also to the growing healthy plants. and while out there God spoke right into my heart.

you see, the hiding of planting the seeds is so like me in my relationship with God. i tend to hide things from people all of the time. God might speak and start planting a seed in my heart, but i don't tell people about it until i see the growth- i don't want you to know that the seed might not take root. i don't want to share my failures with the world because then you would know my imperfections. i hide behind the image of being put together, successful, talented...

and then i thought about the seeds themselves. when God plants a truth in our hearts, it is going to grow. He is God! He is the best gardener there is. my hiding the planting of the seeds demonstrated a lack of faith. i didn't have faith in my gardening skills, so i wanted to hide it. with Christ, i often lack faith that He can do what He has said He would do. and so i hide it. and in hiding it, i take away some of the hope that others might have in being a part of the planting. when God plants things, He is faithful. if i'd let people see the planting, they would also be able to see the goodness of my Father.

the pride that i felt when the seeds took root was meaningful, too. when pride creeps into our walk with The Father, it becomes more about me and less about Him. He is the gardener of my soul and He is the one who deserves the credit. i am just a vessel- the garden bed, if you will.

and then we get to my neighbor. probably the biggest teaching tool for the entire experience. i crash all the time. i try to steer my heart where it is supposed to go. i try to keep my eyes on the road and yet i crash everyday...

in the way that i parent

in the way that i treat scott

in my friendships

in my stewardship

and most importantly, in my walk with Christ.

those crashes leave an impact. they hurt and disrupt the order. and yet, God, the greatest gardener of all can fix them. He can nail back the board to perfect the vessel, He can add some more soil through His Word, and He can replant the seed.

the fact that my neighbor's sister took the blame. well, that's just like Jesus. He took the blame for me. He knew that I alone could not handle all of my sin and so He took the responsibility for me on the cross. just like this neighbor, if often try to hide my sin and shortcomings from my Father. but He knows. and He is waiting patiently for me to come knock on His door and confess. and He'll offer to help me fix it.

and while i was weeding today, a few people walked by and made comments on my gardening. isn't that just like the life God wants for us? He doesn't leave us out there all alone. He designed us to live in community and to walk through the process together. one of the people that walked by celebrated the growth- an encourager. another person pointed out a few weeds that i had missed- a teacher. and the last person commented on the crashed corner. it was the sister who had taken the blame- the great Physician who can restore any mess that we make.