irresistible revolution

i've been meaning to tell this story for a while, but have put it off for a variety of reasons.

a few months ago i read the book irresistible revolution by shane claiborne. it is an amazing book that chronicles how one guy is living differently, radically pursuing a lifestyle that he believes emulates the way God wants us to live.

one morning i dropped e off at pre-school and made my way to caribou coffee with d and the book in hand. i figured i could get through a chapter or two without the distraction of things that could be done at home.

i ordered my coffee, found a spot in a quiet corner, gave d some toys to keep her attention occupied and opened the book. the chapter that i was beginning was titled "extremists for love". here are some parts that i read... (it is all part of the story).

we live in an age in which people, when they hear the word christian, are much more likely to think of people who hate gays than people who love outcasts, and that is a dangerous thing.

the world has seen christian extremists who will blow up abortion clinics and dance on the doctors' graves. we have seen christian extremists who hold signs that say, "God hates fags." the world has seen christian extremists who declare war in the name of the Lamb. but where are the christian extremists for love and grace?

and then the author gives account after account of people from history that knew how to love. he tells stories of dr. king, gandhi, paul, stephen, a woman who lost her entire family in iraq. the list goes on. in each of these stories, the people showed an unbelievable commitment to love. they modeled God's grace, forgiveness and love with the actions of their lives.

as i was reading this, i became more and more excited. i liked this picture of love. it is much harder to do than what the extremists are doing, but feels right to me. it embodies the true characteristics of Christ. and then i read...

we are to love those who bomb us? we are to love george w. bush and saddam hussein? the priest led us to the cross urging us to say, "Father, forgive them for hey know not what they do." he admitted that this action is not based on logic; it is based on a love that does not make sense, a scandalous grace.

and as i read, i kept asking myself, who does God want me to love like that? is there someone in my heart that i am withholding love from? is there a situation that i could heal from this type of scandalous grace. is there someone in my life that sees the image of the extremist and runs from God because of what is being done in His name, by something that doesn't demonstrate his true passion for love? i continued to read.

look into the eyes of the ones who are hardest for you to like, and see the One you love.

i stopped dead in my tracks and put the book down. i knew instantly what i was supposed to do at that exact moment. you see, as i had been reading this section on love, i had been trying to close myself off to something else that was happening in the coffee shop while i had been reading. a man had walked in. he was dirty. he approached the counter and bought himself a coffee. he made his way over to the cream and sugar station and prepared his coffee. he turned around and scanned the coffee shop. he did it slowly, and deliberately. and while he was doing this i tried to look busy. i buried my head in my book further. i also tried to take up a little more space at my table. i moved a few of d's toys around to fully occupy the table we were sitting at. i'm not proud of any of this. as i write it out for anyone to read, a flush fills my cheeks and i am embarrassed. here i was reading this section about love. i was fascinated by the author's quest for changing the face of christian love and showing people that Jesus was the ultimate example of loving well. and all the while, i was a hypocrite.

the man slowly made his way to my table and sat down right next to me. i could feel my body language shift to a closed position. i willed the man to not look me in the eye. the man didn't look homeless, but he smelled bad, was missing several teeth and was incredibly dirty.

and then i read those words, "look into the eyes of the ones who are hardest for you to like, and see the One you love."

i grumbled with God for a minute, tended to d and then turned toward the man and said hello. the hardness of the man shifted and his face lit up a bit. what took place next was the most beautiful experience that God could have given me in that moment. the man and i had a long conversation. he told me all about the two jobs that he works- a groundskeeper for the zoo and a backroom package handler for fed-ex. he told me about his two children and how proud he was of both of them. he had been estranged from one for a while, but she had reconnected with him after having her first child. he was a beautiful human being. d started to fuss a little bit and he told me how when his son was little, he would strap him into the baby seat on the back of his bike and ride him around the neighborhood before bed each evening. he said it did wonders for his wife because he would go off to his second job and his son would be tuckered out from the ride, causing the boy to sleep soundly for his former wife. as he shared all of this with me, i felt myself soften. i could see that this man was a really loving daddy and that he was a man of compassion. and through this man's eyes, i saw the One that i love.

i can see how God used those words in that book perfectly for his timing. and while i had originally thought that the conversation would somehow bless this man, what it truly did was bless me. this man was open and demonstrated this kind of scandalous grace to me.